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Thursday, October 3, 2013

Another Rant? Already?


This a is just a quick one.  I think.  So like I have said before, I love yoga, and have been going here fairly steadily the last couple months.  A few weeks ago, a lady came in that was tall, blonde hair and kinda hippyish.  I assumed she would be an old hand at yoga.
First thing that Mariya and I noticed was that she moaned a bit.  Not even when doing poses like she was in pain.  She moaned in pleasure everytime that she breathed.  She also would get randomly distracted and sit an pick her nails every few minutes.
So today when I saw her walk in, I thought "oh no"  I have a low tolerance for distracting behavior in Yoga, especially at 8am.  First thing she did was come up and ask me to move.  There was plenty of space on either side of me, and there were 2 of us in the studio at that point.  Keep in mind the studio holds like 35 people.  So I scooted over and she put her mat within touching distance of mine.  Another pet peeve unless it is so crowded that it is necessary. She sat down, and before the class had even started, she was moaning.  Like soft core porn moaning.  And giggling.  And I am pretty sure she was talking to herself under her breath.
Now you are probably thinking "oh, she must be "special", Tanya, you are a terrible person."  But I am almost 100% sure she is not.  She is married and has at least one very blonde little girl.  She seems like a fully functioning adult.
So class starts, and she stopped moaning for like 2 minutes.  Only to ask the instructor Patty, in the middle of her opening prayer, to put music on.  Patty looked offended and I felt bad, because what can she really say?  She giggled, clapped her hands excitedly and then she continued moaning.  None of the poses we did today were challenging at all for any decently in shape 30 something woman.  There were ladies much older there that were doing everything perfectly.  This woman could not do anything.  Now, I give her the fact that the classes are in Spanish, but first of all patty is amazing and demonstrates everything perfectly from every angle and then comes over to help if you aren't doing it quite right.  Secondly, I speak very little spanish, and I know she can speak much better than I can because I have heard her.  So, she has no excuse.
Then, again in the midst of her moaning she starts sniffling.  Loudly.  Anyone that knows me well knows this is one of my huge annoyances in life.  That was okay, until she does one of those huge 80 year old man snort the snot back noises.  I gagged,  not even kidding.  Pretty sure I gave her the dirtiest look ever.  She didn't do it again.
I guess that is really about it.  She continued moaning loudly, being a huge distraction and talking to herself.  When class was over, she looked at me, smiled and I could tell she was going to talk to me.  Call me a bitch, but I took an extra long time getting ready to leave and then went into the office to look at the tshirts they have so I wouldn't have to run into her on the way out and make small talk and think of an excuse not to have coffee with her or add her on Facebook or something stupid.

Please also read this article and don't be any of these people 5 Annoying People in Yoga Class

alright, everyone have a great day and if you moan in yoga, please stop!

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha this is awesome! I hope she somehow finds this and reads it!
    And just so it's clear: "Yes, it is you we are talking about, with the short blonde hair and the purple tank top you wear to every class! Don't be annoying!"